Book Bouncing

As usual, I am jumping from one idea to the next as the waterfall out of my head has a rather erratic flow. But hey, that's the joy of it all.
Recently, I had a great idea for a new story, which may become one, two, or even three books. I spent time inspiring with a friend and got the basics of the background down - something I generally like to do on fantasy stories. I don't like starting the book and finding out there's something I don't know about my own worlds. I have my main characters, the basic emotional and spiritual conflicts, the purpose of the story, and much of the physical conflict along the way. I even have some exact scenes and dialogues stored in my mind.
However, it was not to be. Not at this moment anyway. It's still there, and sometime someday I will write it. But I got another idea for yet another story, and once again I'm off! This one is a historical fiction romance set at the turn on the 19th century. Therefore, since the majority of my research was concluded in my history book, I can press on with this one. I have the prologue and half of the first chapter written already. I feel like I can finish this one, but then that's what I thought about the last half dozen. Yes, I do have a half dozen half-finished stories in my shelves, just waiting for me to get inspiration. I wish you could buy it in capsules.
But why look back? I shall now look forward and remember that I know just what to write on my current story. So time to let the thoughts flow out!

The Boy I Never Knew

Once upon a time
Not so very long ago
I met the boy I never knew
And here I'll tell you so

His hair was black and curly
His eyes were deep as wells
From the moment that I saw him
I knew for him I fell

He didn't sing me love songs
Didn't whisper in my ear
He never even said my name
Though that I longed to hear

He didn't bring me flowers
Didn't sweep me off my feet
He never even held my hand
But we shared something sweet

For shortly after meeting
Our eyes locked in a stare
A smile was all we needed
To say what we knew was there

Innocent and lovely
Beautiful and pure
Everytime our eyes would meet
I knew our bond was sure

But time, it passed too quickly
And soon I had to go
What could have happened if we spoke
Well, that I'll never know

We never said Hello
And we didn't say Good-bye
My one last look as we drove away
Made me want to cry

Once upon a time
Bittersweetness came
I met the boy I never knew
And loved him just the same.

The People Who Change Me

I recently read a note by a friend giving thanks for people who were special in her life. Now, I feel like writing one of my own. This list will be of people who changed me, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. I will name most in initials to avoid giving out random names. And I am excluding family, since it is understood that they have all changed my life drastically.

H.J. - Of all the people I have known, you have probably been the most life-changing. Through you, I became confident, closer to the Lord, more talkative, and in love with writing. If I had never become friends with you, I doubt that I would have realized my passion for the written word. You are the closest friend I have ever had, and I hope the closest I will ever have (except maybe my husband). You are my inspiration, and I am who I am today because I know you.

Mr. Tom - You were the first adult that I felt close to. You treated me like the adult I was trying so hard to be, even though I was only in sixth grade. That year was the best year in Sunday School I have ever had. I felt comfortable with you, which is rare for me. I wish you had been my uncle or grandfather. Your sense of humor and crazy actions always got me laughing. I still remember the day you ran into the office, tackled Mali to the ground, took off her shoe, and tossed it down the hallway. I knew you would never treat me that way, but I loved seeing you goof off with the other kids. I bet you are rocking heaven right now! Can't wait to see you again.

J.S. - I know we've had our ups and downs as friends - not like normal girls who have fights. We just sort of faded away from each other at times, then became close again. Sometimes I don't really know what to say to you, but when we do get talking, you are so much fun to converse with. I think it was you who taught me to be less judgemental and more myself. I will never forget those long walks around the church, skipping youth group so that we could talk, getting in trouble because we didn't want to mingle. I felt like you were my friend and mine only, and that was what I needed then. I hope we continue to be friends even as we separate to go to college.

A.D. - I don't even know what you are like nowadays or what you are doing with your life. I hope for the best, but I have to say I don't think you are livng up to my expectations. Still, back in the day when we were neighbors, you were great. I felt comfortable with you. Everything from making pen names (that were really names of pens!) to trying to find my tickle spot and discovering I had none was fun. I'm sorry we separated, but I hope you never forget me. I became more fun through you I think.

T.R. - How can someone I never even spoke to change me? Well, you made me feel special. I know you were sort of a fanstasy - you still are; I can believe anything I want about you because I have no way of knowing what you are really doing. That week with you was the first time I felt like I was someone a boy could be attracted to. Sharing those special moments, so innocent and quiet, made me feel like I was walking on clouds. Out of all the girls there, you chose me. You will probably never know how much that changed my life.

A.O. - Sure, I find you annoying and immature, but guess what? Meeting you, being with you, and dumping you were all major growth experiences for me. I gained so much confidence through our relationship. I realized a lot of things about myself and about my interest in boys that will really help me in the future. We never even "went out" but in that month, I discovered my vulnerability in certain moods, and my need for strength in those moments. I will no longer fall for guys just to raise my ego. I know how emotional decision making can be a disaster, and because of you, I was saved from making a truly drastic decision. My only regret of our time together was that I acted like a normal teenage girl. However, I needed that time and foolishness in order to become who I am today.

That's all I can think of at this time. To those who tried to be an influence in my life and couldn't penetrate my tough outer layer, thanks for trying. I realize I am not the easiest person to get close to, and I apologize for that. But all of your tries were well-aimed. Thanks anyway.

And to the boy in the row behind me: I hope that someday my life will be changed by you. You may not even say much or pay attention, but if I can get up the nerve to speak to you, then I will have changed.

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

The End of the Beginning

My first inspiration, Christian author Donita K. Paul, just finished yet another book to add to her list of amazing successes. I can't wait to read it, but more than that, I can't wait to know what she is feeling. Well, I do know what it feels like to finish writing a novel. Relieving, exciting, exhilarating, and a little sad. Sad because it's a story and characters that you must leave behind... at least until the time comes to edit. But I want to know how it feels to finish something that soon will be read by kids, teens, and adults all over America. Someday I'll get that feeling.
Another great thing about writing though: when you finish one book, when the end comes, you know it's just the beginning of a new story for your characters. Maybe you'll write what happens next, maybe you won't. But in the writer's mind, it still happens. Life goes on for your characters, even after you close the book.
Am I sounding eccentric yet? Sorry, not meaning to. But my mind and the words that come from it run away with me down a rather cloudy pathway sometimes. And not cloudy as in foggy; more like Cloud 9, that glorious haven for dreamers.
Now I am ready to conquer the paper, notebooks, and keyboard with my next stories. As usual, I have myriads of novels and novelettes running through my mind, and several have made it onto paper already. Working on one right now in fact. Unfortunately, not one that will carry me forward in life. I have a habit of getting ideas from other stories and movies, then bending and rewriting them to my own standards. I don't think I could ever get away with publishing something like that though, so I am writing it purely for my own enjoyment. And for the one person who will read it. Lucky or unlucky? Only she could answer that.

Oddly Me

Is it peculiar that I publish things that I don't tell my family or even my closest friend on a website where anyone in the world could see it? In a way, I suppose it is, but I have my reasons. It's almost as though by letting anyone see it, I know that no one will. Rather than writing it in a journal that any sneaky person could snoop in, I put it where no one would think to look. 

Besides that, I'm a dreamer and a romanticist. I can't help doing novel things at times. And by novel, I don't necessarily mean interesting and new. I was thinking more like from a book. I guess it's the same reason that I dance in front of an open window at night. I know no one is looking, but I can imagine that someday someone will see. And then a story will begin. 

Life isn't like a book, but you can make it a story.

The Mountain Called Life

There is a tall mountain called life that we all must climb

  It is a hard and tiring climb filled with pain and strife

But the view is amazing

  And someday we will reach the top

Sometimes we have family pushing us up from the back

  Sometimes we have friends around us offering encouragement

But sometimes we climb alone

  Those are the hardest times

Instead of seeing the view, we begin to look at the ground

  Or even the people who climb nearby

We see those higher than ourselves and wish we could climb as fast as they

  We see those lower and hope we will never become that slow

And at times we begin to despair

  That is when we must look back at the view and remember Who provided it

Remember He is always with us

  And grow as we climb

It takes strength to climb those rocky ledges

  Determination to cross long wearying slopes

And sometimes bravery to take risks and jump over that deep chasm

  Perhaps it is when we are climbing alone

That we finally see through the distractions of those around us

  And rise to a new level

A level of closeness to the One Who is still there

There is a tall mountain called life that we all must climb

  The climb is hard

But the view is great

And someday we will reach the top

Auld Lang Syne!

Today is the last day of 2009 - the last day of the decade. A day of great emotion. A day to look back in memory and forward in expectation. To consider your mistakes and put them behind you. To imagine your coming triumphs! To-

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So another year has passed and another is coming. Same thing happens about every 365 days. I could say I feel sad that another year has passed, or excited about the new year coming, or scared of the great speed of time, but I won't because I don't. Not that I have something against those feelings. Go ahead and have them if you can! Lucky you! I just feel nothing. I never feel anything, so I'm pretty used to it. Every year on my birthday or the new year, I don't dwell on the fact that I'm older or another year has passed. When Christmas or vacation ends, I don't get the blues because it's all over. Some people may think that's a blessing. Some may say it's a curse. 

I'm undecided. Ask me later.