The People Who Change Me

I recently read a note by a friend giving thanks for people who were special in her life. Now, I feel like writing one of my own. This list will be of people who changed me, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. I will name most in initials to avoid giving out random names. And I am excluding family, since it is understood that they have all changed my life drastically.

H.J. - Of all the people I have known, you have probably been the most life-changing. Through you, I became confident, closer to the Lord, more talkative, and in love with writing. If I had never become friends with you, I doubt that I would have realized my passion for the written word. You are the closest friend I have ever had, and I hope the closest I will ever have (except maybe my husband). You are my inspiration, and I am who I am today because I know you.

Mr. Tom - You were the first adult that I felt close to. You treated me like the adult I was trying so hard to be, even though I was only in sixth grade. That year was the best year in Sunday School I have ever had. I felt comfortable with you, which is rare for me. I wish you had been my uncle or grandfather. Your sense of humor and crazy actions always got me laughing. I still remember the day you ran into the office, tackled Mali to the ground, took off her shoe, and tossed it down the hallway. I knew you would never treat me that way, but I loved seeing you goof off with the other kids. I bet you are rocking heaven right now! Can't wait to see you again.

J.S. - I know we've had our ups and downs as friends - not like normal girls who have fights. We just sort of faded away from each other at times, then became close again. Sometimes I don't really know what to say to you, but when we do get talking, you are so much fun to converse with. I think it was you who taught me to be less judgemental and more myself. I will never forget those long walks around the church, skipping youth group so that we could talk, getting in trouble because we didn't want to mingle. I felt like you were my friend and mine only, and that was what I needed then. I hope we continue to be friends even as we separate to go to college.

A.D. - I don't even know what you are like nowadays or what you are doing with your life. I hope for the best, but I have to say I don't think you are livng up to my expectations. Still, back in the day when we were neighbors, you were great. I felt comfortable with you. Everything from making pen names (that were really names of pens!) to trying to find my tickle spot and discovering I had none was fun. I'm sorry we separated, but I hope you never forget me. I became more fun through you I think.

T.R. - How can someone I never even spoke to change me? Well, you made me feel special. I know you were sort of a fanstasy - you still are; I can believe anything I want about you because I have no way of knowing what you are really doing. That week with you was the first time I felt like I was someone a boy could be attracted to. Sharing those special moments, so innocent and quiet, made me feel like I was walking on clouds. Out of all the girls there, you chose me. You will probably never know how much that changed my life.

A.O. - Sure, I find you annoying and immature, but guess what? Meeting you, being with you, and dumping you were all major growth experiences for me. I gained so much confidence through our relationship. I realized a lot of things about myself and about my interest in boys that will really help me in the future. We never even "went out" but in that month, I discovered my vulnerability in certain moods, and my need for strength in those moments. I will no longer fall for guys just to raise my ego. I know how emotional decision making can be a disaster, and because of you, I was saved from making a truly drastic decision. My only regret of our time together was that I acted like a normal teenage girl. However, I needed that time and foolishness in order to become who I am today.

That's all I can think of at this time. To those who tried to be an influence in my life and couldn't penetrate my tough outer layer, thanks for trying. I realize I am not the easiest person to get close to, and I apologize for that. But all of your tries were well-aimed. Thanks anyway.

And to the boy in the row behind me: I hope that someday my life will be changed by you. You may not even say much or pay attention, but if I can get up the nerve to speak to you, then I will have changed.

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."